


Uptight (Everything's Alright)

by citylightsrestlessnights



Series: Psychiatric Disorders [1]
Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia RPF, Dorian Gray (2009)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:49:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citylightsrestlessnights/pseuds/citylightsrestlessnights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rebecca is not your average Broadway wannabe actress, nor it is this love story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

“You got it right.” Amanda tells me as if she knew how hard it was to achieve that series of movements without hassle. She knows nothing! But I love her nonetheless. 

“No I didn’t. I could’ve been more graceful, but I wasn’t. I can hardly believe I’ll get the role.” I replied, slightly annoyed. It is not that I don’t enjoy what I do, I love it, I was born to do this, but auditions always get the worst of me and being a perfectionist is always kind of a burden for anyone around me, even for myself. She bats her lashes, discombobulated by my affirmation and then shakes her head. Here comes another lecture.

“Rebecca, if you keep on acting such a Debbie Downer, I’m afraid I’m going to stop talking to you.” She says it seriously. She totally hates it when I get in this attitude. I do as well, but how can you fight something that’s inside yourself, how do you make it stop growing inside you when you see such talented people competing for the same precious, golden price of being part of the cast of a Broadway play. Apologetically, I look down to the floor as we walk out to the street, finding the city lights and the chaos that comes from Times Square, half a block away from us.

“I’m sorry… I just don’t want to fantasise about anything and get disappointed in the way.”

“Well, you can start by believing a little bit more in yourself in order to gain some of the light you lack.” She replied, bringing back the topic from this morning. My last date was a disaster and it was all my fault. I’m getting way pickier and annoying not only when it comes to jobs but also men. And even with all that, I don’t think my life is miserable… well, not that miserable yet. 

Shaking my head, I let out a sigh and hug her good bye, I have somewhere to get to by 5 pm and I’m already late for the appointment with this therapist I’m starting with. It’s all part of the plan of world conquest as well as some evil scheme prepared by her and my best friend Richard to become my better self. “I’ll be more confident about my shining persona.” I say as I touch her cheek and then wave, making my way to the subway station. “Tomorrow, The Modern, don’t forget it!” She yells at me before I disappear in the crowd of people heading towards The Majestic. I won’t forget and even if I did, she would drag me to the place. 

**

I make it to uptown. I love this side of the city. It is calmed and it holds some of my most cherished childhood memories coming with dad to the Natural History Museum. As I walk into the building where my therapist’s office is, I concentrate on the music playing on my iPhone as I bang my head softly. The concierge lets me in and as I wait for the elevator my thoughts ramble from the previous audition I had and the days to come. 

It’s all a matter of time for me to get a job. I wouldn’t mind cleaning theaters as long as I could make it to one of the musicals somehow. Tomorrow I have an interview/audition at Ellen’s Stardust Diner. I know, waitressing doesn’t seem like the most adventurous career but it’s good for starters. My thoughts seems to be taken away as the elevator opens and I get inside, accompanied by a young, brown eyed man. I see his lips moving as I cannot understand what he is saying; I should probably turn the volume down a bit. Taking off one of my earphones I ask him an almost mute “sorry?” 

“Which floor?” He asks again, surprising me with a british accent. 

“Eighth, thanks.” I reply with a smile. He nods and pushes the button. I assume we are heading to the same place. In silence I put back my earphones and concentrate back on the music, Fleetwood Mac’s Gypsy starts playing and being one of my all-time favourites I cannot help but start humming to the tune, regardless of the presence of the british man next to me. That’s my problem, I think. I get distracted and forget it all, sometimes I absent myself from the world and get into my little bubble, losing track of time, space and even my whereabouts. Well, I’m lying, that’s just one of my problems, that little thing is just part of one big thing I’m dealing with; my therapist calls it Parasomnia. I call it “I can never sleep properly because there is always something else going on” and either I have night terrors or just can’t manage to sleep. That’s what brings me here today. 

As if it was some product of a dream, one of those that I have in the daytime, since I cannot dream at night, I see a hand waving in front of me. The british brown eyed handsome lad is frowning, more concerned than annoyed, I take off my earphones again, shaking my head, as if could be more awake. 

“Are you alright? This is your floor.” He said with a hint of worry as he studied me. Do I have something on my face? Oh, no, it’s just me being my usual awkward self. A blush comes to my face all of the sudden, I’m making a fool of myself over here. Blinking a few times I shake my head and fix my hair quickly. “It’s alright, I’m fine, I just had a little… absent phase.” I tried to explain, as if he could understand what it all was about.

“Absenteeism.” He retorted. He’s all posh and well dressed. He’s probably gay, all gay men dress this good and smell just as nice. 

“Yes absent… how do you know?” I ask surprised. It is not normal that people know about these things, but probably he is just another patient…

“You learn a thing or two when your parents are therapists… Fortunately it happened here at the office. Allow me.” He said extending his hand to me. I’m not sick, I hate being treated as if I were sick, so why am I taking his hand to step out of the elevator? Did I just stare at his eyes like I’m hypnotised? Did I just fall in the classic old, brit trap? Fuck my life. The next thing I know is that we are in front of my therapist’s office. It was a silent, short walk, or maybe I just got absent again. Why does this happen to me in the worst moments of all?

“Now you’re safe. I hope you feel better soon.” He said as he let go of my hand and started walking back to the elevator. All I can mutter is a soft, shy, “Thank you” and the next thing I know is that he disappears through the door and the secretary is dragging me inside the office. I didn’t even know his name. That was weird.


	2. Chapter 2

Streets are crowded, we’re in the middle of the hottest New York summers and all tourists just get to my nerves with their sudden stops while walking or their countless petitions to get out of the picture. And still, I love this city and it’s blinding lights. Somehow, I make it to the diner, entering agitatedly as I go straight to my locker, putting my bag inside of it, turning my cellphone off and getting dressed for the shift. This is better than nothing. I’m waitressing, but at least I get to sing, right? I’m just really frustrated for another useless audition; This is one of those days when I just lose hope. 

“Hey Ward, you got a phone call, Lily says you should get to the Modern today.” I haven’t even started working and my friends are already calling me to leave messages on parties, this is the image I just need. 

“Thank you, Frank.” I grab the paper from his hand with a smile and keep it in my pocket. Frank Kimmell is the manager of this place, he is a 50-something guy, grey eyes, auburn hair, sympathetic smile and the looks of an italian, not being one, who is just in love with musicals and really appreciates the talent of his staff. You can say I fell in love with his love for this place as soon as I entered it, years ago, in company of my dad. “I’m ready.”

“Alright, you know the deal, just chill out, don’t freak out as you serve and sing at the same time and smile all the time. You won’t have a problem with that last one, aren’t cha?” I shake my head and put on my post professional look and smile and get ready to jump into the arena. “You’ll start on the second floor, it’s less crowded but you’ll have to learn to handle the stairs.” He explains as we walk towards the small hall where I can start hearing the songs sang by my fellow coworkers and the hassle that means starting on a thursday afternoon, the evening is just going to get as crazy. Clearing my throat, I nod and make my way towards the second floor. It’s about time to go to my first table… just two people.

******  
The afternoon didn’t go as I expected… I’m really liking this job! Not that I thought I wasn’t going to like it, but I’ve been doing pretty well in spite of forgetting the soda of one table just two times or almost missing the lyrics of the first song I sang. But I think I can deal with it in the meantime. The diner starts getting crowded and as the Broadway shows finish, we start getting more people; mainly by the discounts but still, people. I look at them all entering, mostly from Cinderella and Mamma Mía. I see Frank coming towards me with hurry. “We have some special guests, producers and actors of an upcoming show, this is short notice and I have no tables downstairs, so you’ll have to handle them here.” He starts explaining. Producers? That sounds fine, maybe if they can get to hear me… My mind starts drifting towards the possibilities, until… Lily, The Modern. I won’t be able to make it before midnight. This is a big chance, I cannot just risk it. 

“There’s no problem Frank. I can do it.” I reply without hesitation, he smiles and pats my back. “I knew I could count on you. Now, Tina is gonna help you as well, I won’t leave you two girls alone. We’ll need two tables.” He leads me to the space that’s to be reserved for them, then Tina, a flawless red head girl joins us on arranging the space. Once everything’s ready Franky runs downstairs to check if they are already outside, waiting for their seats. By then, Tina approaches me, clapping her hands in excitement as I try not to bite my nails out of nervousness. “Producers! On your first night.”

“I know… I might die.”

“You’re not gonna die. We’re gonna charm them. Now, make sure to program your best song to perform for them once they make it here. It’s your chance.” Tina can’t finish explaining the little trick to me when I see Frank leading a group of 10 people towards our floor, I fix my clothes as, once more. I cannot even look at them by being distracted at the amount of public we have by them. I never suffered stage panic but this is not a good moment for that. 

“I’ll grab the first table, you get the other.” The last thing I see is Tina talking to her table, introducing herself and passing on the menus. I react instantly, mainly thanks to the adrenaline and walk towards mine. I go through their faces as I go through my lines. “Good evening guys! My name is Becca and I will be your waitress tonight.” As I pass them the menus and I get to the last guest, I find some very familiar brown eyes. Where did I see them before? 

He is just there, staring at me with that big, bright smile on his face. Where did I see him? My mind cannot seem to recollect the instant but the expression is unforgettable. I mean, how can you get over such looks? 

“Absent girl!” Now it all comes to mind and I’m totally disarmed, he seems to have a very good memory, whereas I seem to suck at being a decent human being. 

“You…”


	3. Chapter 3

“Absent girl?” Oh dear, it happened again and in front of this man once more. Can I be so unlucky? I blink a few times, as I gain my focus back and plan something.

 

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about the menu for you guys.” I retorted as they all looked at me weirdly. “As I was saying, I’m Becca and I will be your waitress today. Thank you for helping me the other day, young man.” I replied to the guy whose name I still don’t know and probably won’t find out about since I’ve been playing stupid the two times we’ve met. He chuckles looking up at me, I can’t really tell where else I’ve seen him, I swear to God. I can learn my lines but I can never remember faces. 

 

“It’s Ben. And these are Anne, Paul, Jerome and Susan.” He points at the people as I look at them closely, smiling, trying not to drown in embarrassment. I’m an artist I should be embarrassment-proof but I’m not and that won’t seem to change ever again. 

 

“Nice to make your acquaintance everybody.”

 

“How did you meet Ben?” It’s Jerome asking with a mischievous grin. Most probably he thinks this is going to turn out like those romantic comedies: boy meets girl and then something happens. This is not the case, I hate this kind of serendipity.

 

“I was visiting mom at her office and I bumped with Rebecca in the elevator.” Ben explained before I could do it, and oddly enough it was a short, satisfying explanation, enough to feed their curiosity, calm my nerves and allow me to get back in character. Thank you, Ben, for being a comprehensive man and not letting me fall in total shame in front of all these important, Broadway people.

 

Wait… He is with the important Broadway people. Don’t freak out Becca. This is not an audition, they are just customers; normal people. 

 

“Alright folks, I’ll come back in a while to take your order. Enjoy the show and if you need anything else, just call my name.” I have this urgent need to walk away from stress. I give them a polite smile and walk back to the counter to get some beverages for another table I’m taking care of. Breathe in, breathe out. This is not a big deal. I notice Tina walking towards me with a smile. “I see you got sympathetic with the guests, that’s good.”

 

“If you call serendipitous situations something sympathetic… well…” I’m not willing to give any details to her. Oh if only Amanda or Lily were here… I walk around my tables until it is time to go back to the source of my mortifications. I take their orders with no hassle, great first step. Acting naturally. I’m a waitress here, I’m not Rebecca the insecure woman who hesitates about anything and everything. Then I hear my name being called from the first floor. 

 

“And now, please, welcome Becca, the newest addition to our staff. Come over here and amaze us with your voice.” That is Frank and he is not helping. My important guests just jump to spot number two on the scale of stressful situations, leaving the singing in the first spot. Great. What I love most is now turning into a source of tragedy. I walk down the stairs, keeping my little notepad in my pocket as I go fetch my microphone. 

 

It is now or never. Once on the computer I search for one of my favourite tunes ever. Tina said I should sing what I do better, then, I’ll do that. If I ain’t got you by Alicia Keys should work the charm. I press play as I walk around the tables on the first floor. What I love about singing is that it allows me to forget about everything, maybe I become a better version of myself. All worries go away, even when feelings revolve in my heart, but it’s more authentic than acting. 

 

_Some people live for the fortune_

_Some people live just for the fame_

_Some people live for the power, yeah_

_Some people live just to play the game_

  
  


I walk around, passing some drinks around… I take a look at every guest and by then I don’t feel shame of any kind, I’m good at this, I was born to do this. Climbing up on the middle section of chairs, walking on the back of a row of tables I let myself go.

_Some people think_   
_That the physical things_   
_Define what's within_   
_And I've been there before_   
_That life's a bore_   
_So full of the superficial_

_Some people want it all_   
_But I don't want nothing at all_   
_If it ain't you, baby_   
_If I ain't got you, baby_

Absenteeism is part of who I am, maybe, but I do it greatly as well, before I know, the song is over and the round of applause brings back a little Becca, overwhelmed by the attention, but in a good way. It’s time to leave the spotlight for another singer and go back to my tables. I give the microphone to Romeo and walk upstairs, not before receiving a reassuring look of success from Frank who’s giving me the thumbs up. So far so good. I take some orders from the kitchen and it’s only by then that I notice that I should go back to the source of the worries, but adrenaline’s got me and I can do this. So, I approach them, my hands busy with trays and I place their plates in front of them.

“That was quite the show.” One of the girls say, clapping. Everyone is smiling at me, including brown eyed Ben who’s just nodding.

“I’m glad you’re our waitress, if there was a contest I’d vote for you a thousand times.” Paul adds as a rinse for my already blushed cheeks. I better get used to receive compliments. 

 “I’m glad it was of your enjoyment.”

“Can we make song requests?” Susan asks. Oh lord.

“Can we sing with you?” This time it is Ben making the questions. Do we always get these kind of requests from theater people? They seem to be really demanding! It annoys me a bit, as well as it makes me nervous. Are they testing us?

“I’m not sure about it.” I retort drily. Remember to be polite, Becca.

“Are you scared?” Ben asks once more, defiantly. I didn’t know people came to this place to be competitive… it’s a freaking diner!!

“Scared of what?”

“Of any of us beating you.” Now he is playing hard. Guys, you’re not helping. 

 “If you want to compete, I’m game.” I let my competitive side get the best of me. I’m even supporting my hands on the table, leaning forwards, challenging. 

“Alright, Frank is a personal friend, I’m sure he will allow us to have our little duel”. Now, I didn’t see that one coming, the next thing I know is that brown eyed ben is walking downstairs. I stay on my place, frozen as the other guys laugh and make comments on how he is going to crush me and everyone else at singing. Who could’ve thought that this reckless but adorable english bastard was determined to make my life hell. 


End file.
